Mental Constructions

in Natural Medicine2 months ago

Mental Construction Site


Have you ever sat down not knowing what to write about?

We all have tons of topics in our heads. Things we like to talk about, situations we experienced and wanna share. But once we look at the screen the mind goes blank. All the little stories fade away in tangled thoughts. What seems like a good story suddenly turns into nothing you wanna share anymore.

I have been absent a lot this month, compared to the 6 months before. I was and am busy helping renovating a house. Lately I'm mostly busy with getting the stuff from the walls. I have to chisel it down, room by room.


The room I worked on the last 2 days.

Even though the work is physically challenging, for hours you keep your arms up, it is also meditative to me. No radio, no talking. I recognized that while I was scraping and chiseling my thoughts could calm down.

The monotonous moving off the chisel, hammer and spatula got me into a zone of thinking while not thinking. Thinking without thinking? What I experienced was perhaps a form of meditation. I've never meditated consciously so I'm just guessing now.

This thinking without thinking is crazy. It is like watching a reality show but you are the actor. You see yourself and not everything you see is nice. Not every thought that comes up while not consciously thinking about stuff is a good one.

With every layer of wallpaper, concrete and latex coming down more of myself showed up.



The work in the house shows me things that I have to work on. Finding balance in give and take for example. I'm a giver. But I realized that unconditional giving changes at a certain point. It is never as altruistic as it may seem, acting selflessly and unselfishly.

I realize that this is a normal human behavior. To expect something at a certain point. I cannot deny that after day 4 I was thinking of getting something out of my will to help. Not sure what but I had to be honest to myself and see that me helping is not always selfless. To accept that without beating myself up over it was one thing I learned lately.



I also learned to just let go of good advice when no one bothers about it. What happens usually when one is having an advice and no one listens? Right, we all get upset to a point. Especially when we know that we are right.

Scratching, scraping, chiseling dry walls...labor like in a Gulag. But I took it on because the owner of the house dismissed an advice I had and even though I'm the one doing the work, I'm not mad at her. After 2 rooms and 9 days she listened to me. Now we wet the walls to get all the stuff down more easily.

What it showed me was that I don't have to take it personal when an advice of mine is dismissed. Maybe it is the circumstances that made me deal with it in a NOT angry way. Even though it meant hard work for me and more days for the renovation. But it is not my house and project so if an advice gets dismissed it just is what it is then.



I think I gave up a little bit of a controlling impulse. To control the circumstances, how what is done and when. Even if I know that my advice is good, I also had to learn to accept that someone has a different opinion. This other opinion is a huge detour in this case, but leads to the same result in the end.

This house shows me that I haven't mastered fears and old behaviors, but it also allows me to work on it even more. It brings out my strengths, but also my weaknesses. Transforming these weaknesses or rather the other side is harder than I thought. Just because we think we know things about ourselves does not mean that our actions correspond to them.

Transforming ourselves is a hard thing to do and takes the most will. It is like transforming this old house. The fundament will be the same. But there are layers that will be removed, restructured and remodeled. Old paint is coming off and a new one will be applied.

But it takes time and work to do so and sometimes we have to take a detour.



©bulldog-joy


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This post has a unique sincerity and depth, and it is true, sometimes when we do monotonous tasks we calm down (by the same process of concentration and repetition), and this allows us to assume the position of observer of our existences, and what we see does not it is always nice. I really liked your post. Excellent as you write. A big greeting.

Thank you, I really appreciate you saying that 😊.

I have so many thoughts in my head but once I sit down typing lots of it is gone. I had a different post in mind first but then I just started typing and it led me to this.

Greetings back from here 😃

The person who commented first to your post gave a perfect perspective to your writing but for some reason she has the word hippie in her username 😅.

Well that was refreshing, so it turns out the best words come from the heart and the finest amongst us speak from the soul, forgive my rambling, I just really went in on this.

I think the best thing a man can do for them self is self-discovery, you know, learning things for yourself, realizing it wasn't your fault or it was, forgiving yourself in general. For me its realizing I'm a douche and then cringe and eventually actively working to better me. A wise man once said, you know you've grown when you look back at what you've done and cringe.

The chieseling and that private space with a continuous routine is a big opportunity for your self-reflection and the mind wanders beautifully.

Ah shit, I don't know what I'm saying anymore, well just know that if you give me an advice I promise I'd take it. 😁

Wet the walls before removing wallpaper is my advice 😉. More to come lol...btw I like the Hippie part.

Growing up...whatever that means. I cringe already when looking back at some things but I'm far away from claiming I'm a grown up 😄. Maybe the world would be a better if more people stop claiming they are grown ups. In the end we always will be a child 😉.

wet the walls got it 😂

We're all kids after all. I think i meant grown as in self development. I honestly still identify as a kid 🤣

 2 months ago 

zen and the art of home maintenance? I hear that. There's something meditative about monotonous chores - I'm terrible at them as my mind whirrs that fast that I jump onto the next thing and never do the first one right. Thank goodness my husband's better at DIY than me. I do recognise I need to slow down and do some self work - to peel off those layers of paint - but it'll take some time before I'm fully able to do so. Then I'll look to do a project like painting a wall, and see if I can find some meditative joy in it.

my mind whirrs that fast that I jump onto the next thing and never do the first one right.

Lol, sounds like Vicky :) Let me know hen you mastered painting a wall in meditative joy 😄

Wonderful post. This is exactly what I mean when I talk about narrative study, using everything that happens to us, everything we do, as a means to explore ourselves. Your insights are admirable!

See.. This post turned out not as expected, but very inciteful 🤗 I am happy now. I am happy to know that I am not alone in thinking when not intending to be thinking. I get a lot of useful and useless thinking done while working a job that requires more physical effort over mental effort .. Like weeding the garden or painting a wall. I get a lot of good thinking done when mowing the lawn and .. ummm.. ummm... sitting down for a while not doing anything other than what humans do naturally (aka #2).. hehehehehe 😂 I had to go there!

Feel free to go wherever...🤢...😂. Told you, we are connected somehow lolyou know how I mean it.😊