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RE: Toxic Positivity and the Denial of Emotions

in Natural Medicine4 months ago

I think there's so many fucked up things that happen in the world PRECISELY because we don't deal with emotions properly. I also think that there's a good case to teach emotional intelligence in schools, but given that half the teachers lack EI themselves, we're doomed. We're all in this cycle of unprocessed, undealt with, suppressed emotions. Shame being a BIG ONE. I'm the queen of emotions and was led to believe that there was something wrong with that - not as if anyone said 'you're shit because you're emotional', but because others around me didn't deal with life on the same emotional level I did, I felt .. different. Plus, when you're faced with an emotional child and you're not, how do you deal with that? Tell them there's no need to be so emotional, right? As if it's a bad thing?

And then you just have trouble even labelling emotions. I carried so much shame in me for being bullied , but I couldn't even identify that it WAS shame, and when I had EMDR I found out it was ANGER and RAGE - but I had no where for that to go, because god, girls aren't meant to lash out and scream and tell people to stop because they'd be hysterical, and over emotional.

Anyway, I'm pretty in charge of my emotions these days but geez I wish I'd been taught to be with them a lot earlier.

Great, great post.


Posted on NaturalMedicine.io

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Yeah, both men and women aren't allowed to get angry. I express just a bit of anger (not even at the person), and I will hear how someone "doesn't feel safe". We're so repressed as a culture influenced by Victorian beliefs about keeping everything to ourselves.

Great comment, I could really feel the emotion behind it. Yay for expressing emotion!


Posted on NaturalMedicine.io

I'm thinking if someone is telling you that when you're not angry at them in specific and just kinda venting a little, they're dealing with their own past trauma. Like if someone had an abusive parent or relationship, they'll see any angry man or angry woman, depending, as threatening them.
We're all scarred and repressed and not taught how to deal with it. <3

 4 months ago 

That's true right. We need to express anger in healthy ways too!!!!

I was always told as a child that I was "too sensitive." Apparently that's highly common in undiagnosed autistic kids; when you mask well enough that you fly under the radar but you can't hide everything, you get told that a lot. If they only knew. And what's the good in saying that, anyway? "Hi, you shouldn't have feelings?" Gee thanks, I'll take that on board. ..?!?!
Those of us who are learning about these things and about healing and EI and stuff, I firmly believe are breaking those generational cycles. And that's important work. <3

 4 months ago 

I think so too. I hope that I can talk to my son and his girlfriend about it should I be blessed with grandkids one day. It's the kind of thing they'd take on board. Too sensitive should be a bloody awsome compliment in my opinion. It's why we are who we are, and if you ask me, we are both nice people.