This day, four years ago, I was walking on the land, enjoying the scent of orange blossom that surrounded my home. It was just starting to get dark and I wanted to walk a bit before I entered into my birthing space. I knew that you would be born within the next few hours.
I was not in any discomfort, I just knew. Every now and again, I would get an ache in my lower back and I could feel you moving inside of me.
I had made the decision to have an unassisted birth, as I felt prepared to birth you alone. I am lucky to live in an area where their are a few alternative midwives close by, so I could always reach out to one of them, if I needed to.
I was so excited and ready to meet you,to get to see your face and gaze into your eyes!
You had been super active and I loved how you always responded to the voice's of your sisters. I couldn't help but wonder if you would be a girl or a boy and Your two sisters were just as curious as me. They both took turns singing and talking to you, lying across me so that they could rest their heads on my belly.
I felt so lucky and blessed to be able to be surrounded by trees and mountains, to be able to see the night sky as I walked mindfully on the land. Every now and then, I would stop and circle my hips, one way and then the other, I felt so ready to enter this dance with you.
It was a Friday, the day where we the acequia water runs onto the land. There are 4 terraces, and each one has their own gate that needs to be opened so that they get watered. At 10p.m I remember walking with your papa to check the gates, to make sure they where open and that the water was flowing fully. (as sometimes it gets blocked, due to debris falling into the water ways)
Your sisters where already asleep in bed, they asked me to wake them when you were born, but I told them that if you came in the middle of the night I would let them sleep till the morning. They were happy with that.
After checking the gates, my body told me that it was time to enter my birthing space. A caravan that I had prepared, that was parked across from our truck. I had painted the inside red and orange and put up lots of positive birthing affirmations. I also had a little music system in there, as I knew that I would like to listen to some music in the early stages of your birth.
I spend most of the first 3 hours listening to Jose Gonzalez and Estas Tonne (whom I am listening to as I write this), losing myself in their music and allowing my body to move as it needed to. I only had candle light in their and I felt safe and held within that space.
A week early, a few of my female friends had come into that space with me and we all sang, I felt their energy with me, on this night of your birth, I felt held by them!
At one point I remember turning off the music, as it began to draw me back out of myself and I knew that I was entering a stage where I needed to surrender and let my body and my inner knowing take over!
It can be hard to switch off the rational mind, it is not something we do often and it is certainly not something we are taught, certainly not in mainstream schools. But it is necessary if we wish to birth our young naturally. We need to just surrender to the dance!
After turning off the music, I remember singing and moving my body, circling my hips around and breathing deeply. The next stage is kind of blurry, I believe I went into a sort of trance, riding the waves of your birth and my rebirth!
Just as you were about to crown, I suddenly thought, what if you are not head first. I had not had any check ups, instead tuning into my body myself and talking with you, encouraging you to move down, head first. You had the hiccups earlier and I was reassured that you were actually head first as I could feel them very low down. But still that thought came into my mind, just as I was transitioning.
This is quiet normal, the moment when a mother doubts herself, just before the baby is born. As I was alone, there was no one to reassure me and as a result things got quite intense and I certainly began to make a lot more noise.
This resulted in my dogs howling and your papa waking up and coming to check on me, just as you were about to be born. He came in to find me squatting and a moment later he caught you in my arms, my waters breaking just as you were born.
You came out making a lot of noise! Something you still do, because you have a lot to say, all of which is always very positive and full of love!
You were absolutely perfect and I took you in my arms, so happy to finally meet you earthside. An hour later your Placenta was born and as I had chosen a lotus birth for you, you would stay attached to it, until your cord fell off.
So much has happened in these last 4 years, right now, the whole world and everyone in it, is going through a transition, preparing to rebirth itself/themselves!
You were born, full power, that was evident from the sound you were making as you were born, it surprised me somewhat, as you were born into a very chilled and relaxed space. But watching you grow and seeing how confidently you interact with the world, how enthusiastic you are about everything, I can see now, that this was your way of beginning your life earthside.
are such a joy to watch, you are so full of love and you tell me at least 20 times a day, how much you love me. How blessed I am, to have you in my life and to get to watch you blossom and thrive. You are such a positive force, a huge light that continues to shine brighter everyday!
Happy Birthday My Beautiful Girl!