Long time no Ecotrain! It’s criminal how long it’s been since I’ve interacted at one of my favorite communities at Hive. I’ve been so busy with cross culture but I came across this weeks ecotrain question and felt compelled to answer.
When I met my partner we talked about this early on. She said she wanted to be a tree. For some reason this made me sad.
At that time I was still full of complicated messy human messy mess and felt like living as a tree would be so boring and uneventful. I thought “maybe in a few more lifetimes, not yet.”
Now I have a totally different attitude though. I feel like it doesn’t really matter. I can have my preference but in the end, it’s all good! Just to exist will be enough. If it’s hard at first taking some other form, I’ll get used to it and somehow learn to love it.
I am just that I’ll be whatever I need to be.
That being said, I’d like to come back as a human. I feel there is still so much I haven’t done and so many aspects of humanity that I haven’t explored.
I do not think I’m a new soul either, but when I compare myself six years ago to this me now, it’s not even the same person. I’m so much lighter and freer and able to live out of inspiration and in a flow state.
I’d love a chance to do this all again as human and see what I could do if I am able to release all the trauma and baggage at a younger age. I do not feel anything negative about being human, nor do I crave some kind of enlightenment like I used to. I feel enlightenment is an ongoing process that never begins and never ends and so there is no reason to seek it because it’s constantly happening anyway.
So what’s wrong with being human again? In fact I’d like to be this very same self. I’d like to play this exact same game over again, same character, same setting, same set of rules. I’d love to see what i could do with that.
This may sound like regret, like I’m not content with the way things turned out. I am quite happy though and if I come back as a tree or a cat or a vegetable, That’s ok! I’d just be really excited to start the same game over.
If time is not linear (I believe that it is not) and if reincarnation is something that happens, this should be possible.
My partner has since told me that she can try being human again one last time, but I no longer feel sadness if she chooses to go a different way than I do. Everything is in its right place.