Talking Invisible & Unrelatable Pains: Why We Must See Ourselves As Our Only True Confidants

in BDCommunity12 days ago

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There are certain issues I would rather not discuss with people especially those I consider my friends this is because I like to define myself and allow others define me from what I have initially defined myself. I have tried to keep my circle tight this is because have a lot of people coming into my life as acquaitances or friends because I fear they would change me so thoroughly that I might even forget who I am.

I like to think I am a strong person especially if I can go through pain and challenges that aren't relatable to people. Many are suffering pain but then we only see the ones we see on the internet, the media or probably through a gofundme foundation open for a person in distress but then many also underestimate their lives, how they get by and all. What we often consider too simple is what some people are seeking to have.

Some people probably use their bodies, exhaust them and recover quick and yet they underestimate this. In life the first blessing we have is having full functionality of ourselves, being free from illnesses having the capacity to utilize ourselves to a 100%. Having money and the rest all all secondary endowment.

But then the first blessings we should be grateful to have is having the capacity to be dependent on ourselves on all angles. No one has control of the circumstances that sorrounds their existence, people have been born without limbs, crippled from birth, has a defect due to unknown circumstance, people have been born in and have to live in dependence and discomfort all their lives, while this pain is what feels visible, it is totally unrelatable by most people.

There is an invisible Segregation in the human society, sometimes when your challenges are visible you're segregated and stigmatized even if no one will obviously state this fact. This is mainly why people go through things silently, the fail to speak about it because of the fear of discrimination, unfair judgement and criticism.

People would show understanding for your plight, they'll even encourage you, tell you things to make you feel better but deep down you're not the same as them, they don't feel equal with you. Your plight or challenge has of course created a sort of gap or bridge. Deep down they pity you. When you sense compassion it's actually shame and you can only feel this stigmatisation when they lower their guard and talk about what they truly percieve about you.

There are pain we can control and there are those we cannot. When People are stigmatized because of things they can't and can never control it makes the world a really terrible place. I often criticise people based on controllables, when we berate people for what they cannot control this becomes largely unfair. I have been in pain and obviously I will still face more pain.

I like to see my life a challenge and even most time I just turn up on a daily basis and make things happen for me, many people have the impression that my life is perfect but then they wouldn't want to be me if I told them my challenges. I do this because I don't want people to pity me, I want to be able to compete in life and treated equally. I try hard to hide my scars when they become too visible because no one truly understands.

In life sometimes, some people underestimate what they have when a whole of others would kill to have it. However we're endowed and it makes us feel a sense of pride this shouldn't make us berate others for being less. If change is immediate and spontaneous, many people would chose to live differently.

Sometimes we need to look deeper to have a better understanding of the ills the world is currently in and a lot of people are really lucky without them knowing they're truly lucky. We must fail to be thankful because the universe can be unfair, life can be wicked and it can be harsh, while some people have it even smoother then they actually wished for. Even when I struggle to show appreciation, I wish I could talk about my frailties, but then no one but ourselves truly understands.




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Thank you, im grateful

This is mainly why people go through things silently, they fail to speak about it because of the fear of discrimination, unfair judgment and criticism.

I hear you on this especially if you have grown up with the judgment coming from family members, hearing them make remarks about others too. It can instill this subconscious fear of sharing.
I like your thoughts on this, maybe it is ok to show a little vulnerability to those you trust though. I like your mindset, and I guess consistently being positive and promoting self-worth is likely to have a positive effect on others. But I can't help wondering if sometimes that can breed jealousy in people too?
Your article has a very interesting perspective and it has certainly given me some food for thought.
Thank you for sharing 💚🤗


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I have seen so many experiences a lot and sometimes opening up about your issues to people can be quite revealing, many people wants you to talk about your issues with them but this isn't because they would understand and help you, while this isn't always true we have more of stigmatization rather than compassion in the human society. Family can be the worst, they're judgemental even in the slightest provocation without even knowing what you're passing through.
Im glad you enjoyed the article, I knew it was going to be relatable.

I have come to embrace the fact that living in itself is inescapably associated with suffering. While we may be faced with various variations of such suffering, the central theme remains for the majority of us. Luckily we have an unreal ability to cope with such challenges and even derive some form of satisfaction from tackling them head on.

Good article

Yeah we have an unbelievable ability to cope with life, this is because naturally we love life, we want to live life, life itself is a motivation and a lot of people are passing through some unreal things in their lives and that is we everyone must learn to respect the demons that their fellow humans are facing rather than downplaying their experiences.

Hello brother, there are a lot of truth in your words and I truly understand what you actually mean here.

Many people don't appreciate what they have, but yet there are others who don't have up to what they have. Moreover, Many may wish to be like someone they know but yet do not know what truly the person is facing through and if they know eventually, they tend to look at the person in discrimination. I think today, that is how the society is. It is only left for us to understand that nobody is perfect and everybody has their *******. We are all humans and being good in one aspect do not make any person superior than the other.

I really enjoyed your article brother. Thanks for sharing.

It's what it is. A lot of times, what others experience are mind boggling but they just have to keep mute because no one might truly understand what they're going through. Pain isn't relative because it is different and most people who claim to know what we're passing through doesn't actually mean it.
In reality, the human society is judgemental in nature because thats how we are; we're opinionated to the core but then we only to be people to truly understand what they're facing thats Why we need to be compassionate and considerate.

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