How My Children Learn !

in homeedders •  2 months ago 


We all have our own ideas about how learning happens and for those of us who when through mainstream education, we may believe that the majority of what we learn has to be taught to us. Indeed our education was placed in the hands of others, where we were taught to listen and to obey.

Our introduction into structured learning, with the intention to set must of us up for a very structured way of life.

This may suit some. but it never suited me. I struggled within this system, where learning was expected to happen in the same way that it was taught. As though we are all made from the same cloth. With no room for exploration, no room to be different or unique.

From such a young age, being told you are not clever enough or bright enough, that you have to try harder. But what about just trying a different way, or be left to discover what way in which you actually do learn. It saddens me that this opportunity for learning about the diversity of humankind is still not being fully embraced.

Where children are still be measured up amongst others and where the idea of being a failure is so widely expressed.

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All children are born with an a huge desire and passion to learn, they are constantly observing and navigating the world around them from the time they are born (even whilst In Utero).

You just have to look at young children and witness the excitement that they express when they figure something out for themselves. They crave knowledge and the opportunity to learn life skills. They copy their parents and want to do whatever they are doing. They learn by observing and by then acting it out through play.

This does not change when they turn 5 or 8 or 12. It is through play that they continue learn how to interact with others and how to interact with their environment. I do not believe that children need to be taught, unless they ask to be, I have full confidence in my girls ability to educate themselves. I am witnessing it all the time.

They have the freedom to explore, to play, to create, to build, and to grow, unhindered by those who place doubt into their minds. Why would a child believe that they are incapable of something, unless they are told they are. They learnt to talk, to walk by themselves. My girls learnt to swim and ride their bikes by themselves, they didn't want my help because in their own words, they told me

I can do it myself

They are teaching themselves to read and write and I am available whenever they need me. They do maths everyday, because they naturally count and subtract. My middle child loves to do math and likes to make up her own sums which she gets me to check.


My eldest has been helping out at a local stables at the weekends and she has to read the to do list, because otherwise she would not know what to do. She did struggle for a little bit, because her papa made her doubt herself but we have worked through that.

The only structured learning they have had, is when they have requested it and also one time at a kids creative space that they go to 2 days a week.They have been learning how to build there and they had to pass a tool test, so that they can use all the hand tools safely. They are in the middle of building an outdoor art space and an indoor space for the library that will be there. All the kids decide where it will be and how the space will be utilized.

All the learning, that they do there, is led by them.

For me, it is really important that my children are in a creative and stimulating environment. That they have the tools they need in order to learn and to teach themselves. Living amongst nature is a priority for me and I think it really helps my children to have a strong connection to the natural world.

But there are also lots of wonderful opportunities for them here, we live surrounded by artist’s, musicians, circus performers, natural builders, permaculture enthusiast's and loads more who have so many skills that they can share.

Children learn a lot from the world that they are exposed too and the only limits they have to their learning are the ones that have been imposed on them. Give them the freedom to choose, the freedom to discover and you give them the wonderful gift of self belief.

We are learning all the time, but what is it that we remember, is it that which was forced on us, or that which we sought out ourselves?

I asked my eldest who is 10, how she learns and she said

by doing it!

Which I think sums up my answer nicely

This post is my response to the @homeedders latest question "How do Your Children Learn?".

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Learning by doing! Yes. Practical wins every time. As an English teacher I have so many ways I would transform the curriculum to better 'educate' rather than force them to write essays for a ranked grade. It's a shit system. You are amazing.

you are simply amazing too my friend xxx

You make having kids so tempting. I really need to get out and visit you.

I used to think I didn’t DO structure but now I’m realizing that I just don’t do rigid structure and I don’t do structure that I have no control over.

Ah I can't wait to meet you my friend, our time will come and yes having kids is amazing and exhausting and trying and so god damn rewarding all rolled into one xxxx

Something that people often say, when you come take your children out of the school system to home educate, is that you should give a couple of months to deschool. The idea is to get them out of schooling habits and let them know it's okay to learn in other ways. However, as parents who have been through the whole schooling system, it isn't always as easy to deschool ourselves. I started out trying to do school at home and it didn't work out very well at all for my youngest. I was just continuing the very things that were causing her problems in the first place.

I'm still a bit in awe of those who can trust that their children will learn themselves. It's hard to let go of your own conditioning. Well done you for managing to.

I always say how I am unschooling myself and it is not easy, I catch myself all the time trying to interfere, my girls always put me in my place though xxx

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Beautiful. Nicely written. Thank you for sharing.

thank you my friend xx

Least you get nice straight answers out of yours XD

I think learning by doing is pretty effective :)

yeah it sure is, that is really how I learn best as well xx

Children learn a lot from the world that they are exposed too and the only limits they have to their learning are the ones that have been imposed on them. Give them the freedom to choose, the freedom to discover and you give them the wonderful gift of self belief.
We are learning all the time, but what is it that we remember, is it that which was forced on us, or that which we sought out ourselves?

I love your perspectives on learning. I am a mother myself and wanted all my 4 children to have freedom choosing what they want to learn and truly passionate about. I don't do homeschooling, my strategy for now is to let them have the basic skills of education in school and my role is to help them discover who they truly are and support their passion so they can use their strength to contribute to this world and working on their weaknesses so they become better version of themselves each day pass. Thank you for sharing your point of view on learning for your children.

thank you for dropping by, you know i really don't think they need our help so much, just our presence, they will find out who they are all by themselves. xxxx

my mother literally just did that because she has no formal education. I was lost back then and just follow the herd and confuse about who I am until my late 20s, then I discovered myself after all those confusion. I wish it could be more earlier than that. But I can see it now why I have to go through those confusion and lost in order to have awareness that I have on myself in the presence. So I understand and can empathize their situation too, because I been there and know the feelings myself. Thank you for your attention and sharing your perception about this.

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One thing that I love about visiting your posts is that I always get encouraged, receive confirmation and leave with more confidence knowing we have set our kids in the right direction. This was well written and I agree whole heartedly that it is important for our kids to grow up in an environment where they have the resources they need to learn, create and grow. Encouraging our kids to be themselves and to be creative and to use their own minds is one of the best gifts a parent could ever give. This is the blueprint that will set them up to be productive, intelligent, vibrant, bold and inspiring human beings.

Much love to you mama ~ 💓

I like your way! Freedom is very important! I believe your children receive a lot of love! Bravo! 😀 All the best to you & your family!